The winner of the “Bachelor” Alexander Shulgina: Childbirth lasted 24 hours and my beloved was there all the time
“When I was looking for a chosen one, I went on two or three dates a day”
– Your man does not like publicity. On Instagram, you call him none other than Superman. Why?
– My man is really not public. Initially, we agreed that I would not advertise our personal life, post a lot of common photos, although I still show it (smiles). I try to keep my word. He doesn’t want people to know where we are and what we are, but given that I was originally a blogger and he knew who he started dating, they decided to choose some kind of middle ground when I show him a little, but do not voice his name. Why Superman? Because he has superpowers.
– How did you meet?
– We met in April 2021 after I launched the challenge #SoulFriendFind. I showed and told on Instagram how I am looking for my future chosen one. What did I do for this? She actively meditated, increased her self-esteem, worked on herself and with her beliefs, studied male psychology and began to go on dates. I met men on dating sites, and I had two or three dates a day. About a month later, quite by accident, we met my future husband at a party, and we began a relationship. Almost from the first dates, it became clear to me that this was serious, and I immediately told my superman that I would give birth to his daughter next year (smiles).
– Superman proposed to you in January. Looking forward to the wedding?
– Of course! Beautiful in Europe as well.
– What does your lover do?
– He has his own business.
– Have the sons of the beloved already met their younger sister? How did they react?
– Yes, my man has children from a previous marriage – boys aged 12 and 14. These are wonderful well-mannered guys, we have excellent relations. They were waiting for their sister and are very happy. I am glad that my daughter will have two adult brothers who will help and support her. I have always dreamed of having a brother.
– You are the author of meditations and a motivational speaker, you conduct courses and webinars for girls on how to accept and love yourself. Has the number of appeals from Ukrainian women increased during the war? What stories do they share with you?
– During the war, I actively conducted meditations on the heart. These are meditations for which a girl could pay as much money as she sees fit – from 1 hryvnia and more. These were meditations on money balance, health, dreams. I sent part of the money that I received from the sale to the Armed Forces of Ukraine and the Masha Efrosinina fund to help Ukrainians.
She also broadcast on the topic of emigration to America, Canada, Spain, Italy, Poland, Portugal. I tried to help as much as I could. There were various kinds of appeals: to distribute stories, to bring people together, but mostly they applied because of the emigration broadcasts. Because thanks to these broadcasts, many learned how to emigrate correctly, to obtain temporary refugee status in other countries. Then people wrote to me in PM, thanking me for successfully leaving and now they are trying to build a new life.
– Most Ukrainian bloggers now do not have the income that they had before the war. Do you somehow monetize your social networks?
– I have never been a blogger who earns on advertising. I always made money only on my products: selling meditations, the book “Instructions for a happy woman. I am alone. The path to your beloved. Three Steps” and courses that I run every three/six months. Despite the fact that now there is a war in Ukraine, and meditation, and a book, and courses are in demand, they are bought. Basically, of course, those who are in Europe are Ukrainian-speaking and Russian-speaking.
Alexandra does not name the name of her future husband, but sometimes shows him in pictures on social networks >
-The Americans back in January were sure that Russia would attack Ukraine. Did you hear about it before the invasion? Have these topics been discussed in your environment?
– In January, being in the fifth month of pregnancy, I flew to Kyiv, because I really wanted to see my family, shoot beautiful photo shoots, a video. And even then they were actively talking on the news that Russia was preparing an offensive against Ukraine. In America, everyone watched the news and discussed it, only Ukrainian citizens could not believe that our neighbors could attack us. Neither I, nor my family, nor my friends believed in it either.
I remember that my chosen one called me, raised a kipish and asked me to return home. I said it's all bullshit and I'm not going anywhere. But in the 20th, they began to actively evacuate American diplomats from Ukraine, and I decided that it was time to fly back.
– The morning of February 24th. How did you know that Russia attacked Ukraine? What were your first thoughts and actions?
– I was then in Mexico, in Tulum. We celebrated my husband's birthday, went with a huge group. It was February 23rd. I learned about what was happening from a message from an American friend who simply wrote that the sky was closed, the war had begun. I immediately called my sister, who was still sleeping, my mom and dad [in Ukraine]. They did not understand what was happening, but I learned earlier in Mexico that Russia had attacked Ukraine. Of course, psychologically it was very difficult. We just arrived to celebrate a birthday, everyone is walking, relaxing, and for these seven days I was like in a fog, crying, constantly sitting on the phone, monitoring the news, afraid to go to bed so as not to oversleep some events. I woke up with my phone and went to sleep with my phone. We can say that she did not live, but existed.
– Are there any of your relatives and friends in Ukraine? What were those three months like for them?
– My parents are in Kyiv, they did not go anywhere. My sister is temporarily in Europe, and her husband and my close friends are in Ukraine. These three months were very difficult psychologically, I try to keep in touch with them, I provide them with the help that I can provide, including moral and financial.
– Do you have relatives and friends in Russia? Do you keep in touch?
– In my environment there are no those who are for the war. Everyone understands what is happening and sympathizes with the Ukrainians. All my friends and acquaintances from Russia left the country. Someone went to Dubai, someone to America. My close friend and her husband flew to Thailand, being eight months pregnant, to give birth there. They do not want and cannot be in a country that does this. Of course, we keep in touch with these people. There are also acquaintances in Russia who, for one reason or another, cannot leave, but oppose the policy of their country.
– How did subscribers from Russia react to your posts and stories about the war?
– During the entire war, about 8 thousand people unsubscribed from me. These are the people who supported the “military special operation”, as they call it. And I blocked. In the first month, she very actively exposed everything that was happening in Ukraine, conducted broadcasts, where she called everything by its proper name: “Russia attacked Ukraine.” There were many bots on the page – not Russians, not Belarusians, but those who are from the “L/DPR”. “Where have you been for eight years?”, “So you need it” – they wrote a lot of such nasty things. But from Moscow and other Russian cities they wrote and asked how and where to send money, how to help. But I’ve been used to criticism since the days of The Bachelor, so I reacted to it quite normally (smiles). Somewhere I even understand that people have been zombified for 20 years and it's just hard to realize now. what is actually happening. But I believe that all the same, the eyes of these people will be opened, their minds will be cleared and they will understand what country they live in and with what leadership.
– Are there many Ukrainian emigrants in Los Angeles? How America accepts Ukrainians?
– There are a lot of Ukrainian emigrants in Los Angeles. They sympathize and try to help in every possible way. Our friends organize many charity events to help Ukrainians, stars collect money. One of our acquaintances, a very rich man, at the beginning of the war, organized a private plane and flew to Ukraine, where he rented a hotel with 400 rooms and took women and children out, helping them. Many host people, acting as sponsors under the UFU program (a state program for obtaining permission for Ukrainians to enter the United States. – Auth.). Here you can see a large number of Ukrainian flags on houses where people of different nationalities live. This is how they show their support for our people. Also, people took to the streets, organized actions and held rallies, I myself visited them very often.
– Emigrants from the Russian Federation are now complaining about Russophobia, they say, they are being poisoned everywhere. Gets and Ukrainians who speak Russian. Have you experienced this in LA or is it a myth?
– I've never experienced anything like it. I was somehow lucky that all my friends are Ukrainians. Although I have nothing against those Russians who support Ukraine. I am against those who are for the war and do not understand what is happening. Regarding the language, there were some attacks from subscribers, but I think that the choice of language is a purely individual matter. It is my choice. I speak Ukrainian, and when I decide to switch to it, I will do it out of my own motives, desires, and not because someone forced or forced me.
During pregnancy, Shulgina attended rallies in support of Ukraine in the United States Photo: instagram.com/alessandra_shulgina
The worst hate I experienced after “The Bachelor”
– I saw, that you have been criticized on social media for selling meditations that help you deal with stress in this difficult time. Like, you earn money when others donate their last to help the Armed Forces of Ukraine. How did you deal with the hate when you were pregnant? And what do you say?
– I can't say that I have a lot of hate, but it really appeared with the war. At some point, my body stopped responding to this: it stopped crying, showing unnecessary emotions, the instinct of self-preservation turned on. For the sake of the child, I tried to watch and listen to the news less, because I understood that this could affect the baby. Fortunately, the child was born healthy, calm, despite all the stress that I had to endure.
I experienced the biggest hate in my life 11 years ago. I received batches of terrible insulting messages after “The Bachelor” about how bad, scary, etc. I am. It's so easy for me to get through this now. First, I know who I am: I am hardened and I am no longer 20 years old. Yes, and from the point of view of psychology, I understand why people hate. Someone is jealous and wants to live the same way, so they share what they have inside. And everything they say about me is not about me, but about themselves. Understanding this, I am not offended at all and can only feel sorry for these people.